How come it took so long into this book for Arthur to hold a
press conference? As a writer and editor reading this, there has got to be a lot of
fluff that could be cut from the beginning of the book if we’re on page
170-something and the main storyline of Arthur running for mayor is just now
starting. There are inconsistencies in verb tense and POV and I can’t stand
reading this because it’s just plain bad writing. Yes, this entire post
is just going to be complaining about the writing because it’s that bad.First of all, adverbs ad nauseam. Dialogue is broken up in odd places. During the press conference, all the interruptions to dialogue to allow the reporters to laugh in response… nothing was funny. The Monty Python joke was not explained well and ill-timed for the situation. Cheese balls? (p 169-70) Really? On page 188, Gwen “cuts in” when she’s not interrupting anyone and then gets a “trailing off” ellipsis when it should be a dash because she’s interrupted by Arthur’s next line. These are just a few examples of the things that irritated me. Also, who’s POV are we supposed to be in? Seems like it’s supposed to be a limited omniscient narrator, but it’s inconsistent and the POV switches mid-scene sometimes. And where was the proofreader for this book? Must’ve been his or her day off.
Merlin is a jerk and Arthur’s personality is inconsistent. I
don’t fully understand Gwen’s character from this excerpt, but it seems like everyone steps over her when I feel like she’s just trying to do her job. What is this
book? Because I don’t like it.
I understand what you're saying about the writing style. It was a strange read. However I do think that it just reflects the awkwardness of the entire situation. I'm not saying that it's right. It could have been written a bit better.
ReplyDeletehaha, I know. This book will win ZERO writing awards (and I think there is actually a later edition that fixed some of this but I only have access to the original text). As for what takes so long, well, we spend a lot of time with Arthur arriving in NYC and figuring out what is going on before we get to his political ambitions.
ReplyDeleteI hesitate to even mention it, but there is actually even a sequel in which Arthur runs for President! I have never read it (I have never even read all of this book, tbh!) so I cannot tell you if it is any better or ... not.
Oh no! A sequel sounds awful. It also baffles me how many books have "New York Times Bestselling Author" on the cover and then have this kind of writing.
DeleteI guess that makes sense, that Arthur would have to understand New York City and the 20th century first before deciding to run for mayor. But the "selling point" is King Arthur runs for mayor, so it depends on the pacing.
Honestly while reading this I kept wanting to take a pen to the page and make ALL the corrections. Also, I knew the monty python quote was from somewhere (cause I've never actually seen the whole movie), but I didn't know where and it caused a 5 minute break of me trying to pick out the reference.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree. It was crazy that we were dropped into the middle of the book and could easily understand what was going on in the story. I think the picture you chose perfectly fits the description of this book.
ReplyDeletequestion, maybe it's answered in the 170 pages we skipped but... why is Merlin a kid?
ReplyDelete